Today marks seven years since my Aunt Sandie passed away. She was only 44 years old when she died from ovarian cancer. I've never had any sort of ritual to mark the day. It's my way of avoiding my feelings.
On the first anniversary of her death my mom baked a cherry pie. We all sat down and shared it. Cherry pie was my aunt's favorite. So today I decided to bake a pie to honor my aunt.
Since cherries are not in season, I cheated a little and bought canned pie filling. I also bought pre-made pie crust. So really I just assembled the pie. I figure that was okay for my first special pie.
I wish that my aunt was still here. I wish that she could have met my husband. I wish I could have gotten to know her as an adult, instead of only as a child.
So many wishes.
Instead I work at my relationships with her two children. We are all so young that we are still navigating the change from child-to-child relationships into adult-to-adult relationships.
I love her children like they are my siblings, even though they are not. I look forward to the day I have my own children, and I know that my cousins will have a major role in their lives.
Rest in peace Aunt Sandie.